I began typing this with the idea of celebrating the anniversary of our bands first record. The idea was to breakdown the meaning of each song, what they meant to me than and what they mean to me now. I’d put a link to the iTunes page and tell you that we’ll probably play a show soon. But as I began typing, I realized that the anniversary of this record means so much more to me than romancing a once-was-broken heart and to glorify anything or anyone any more than I already have is not only unfair to them but it wasn't fair to me.
There’s a lyric in a new tune we are working on that states “the words i wrote may have embellished it but the way things were, who gives a shit”. That statement rings true to me in many senses and could be applied over and over to many scenarios and although it does seem inevitable in this process, I am satisfied to leave the skeletons wherever they are hiding.
That being said, still to this day it is surprisingly frequent that some kind soul sends me a message to tell me how the album helped them though a rough patch or though a breakup. I do consider this to be one of our greatest accomplishments with that record, on a sentimental level of course. After all that’s why we, as musicians, do this, right? To connect with other beings on a deeper level, to put our emotions and thoughts to song and send them into the world hoping that they resonate with others? Maybe, I suppose. To be honest, after all these years I still don’t know why I pick up a guitar everyday and why I continue to write but I couldn’t imagine a life in which I decide to call it quits - the irony of that statement is surely to follow.
Amidst what seems to be a popular year for celebrating releases amongst my peers, I cant help but think of how we are in such good company and reminiscing back, we always were. I’m proud to have been a part of whatever scene we were in and equally as proud to be in whatever scene we might be in now.
I began 2017 very apprehensively. To be technical, when the calendar turned I was surrounded by friends and celebrating the marriage of a life long friend and it was fantastic. You probably know him, his name is James and he plays bass in the band. He’s pretty much the greatest person on the planet and is without a doubt a big reason as to why I’m able to write this in a “way we are” sense as opposed to a “way we were” perspective. All that to say, I was quite aware that 2017 marked the 10 year anniversary of Everything I’ve Forgotten To Forget and that is a very unsettling feeling. 10 years is a long time for anything. It’s a long time for a TV show to be on air, it’s a long time for a relationship, it’s a long time for a friendship even.
The concept that some the songs have been being performed for nearly a third of my life is a little baffling when you think about it that way. In one sense, it makes me wish I was a little more careful in writing them; some lyrics I probably wouldn’t have settled on, some performances I would have tried 1 or 2 more takes for the recording, some of the songs might not have even been recorded. On the other hand, if the record feels old, what does that make me?
Not to say that I regret anything about this record, because I don’t. But again, in hindsight I would have done some things differently.
As sad as the record sounds, I always associate Everything I've Forgotten To Forget with a happy time in my life. When I wrote those songs I was living with my brother, I was living with friends, I was working a mediocre job that never gave me a hard time about time off for gigs and they paid me well while I was there. I was always surrounded by friends and generally, in a good place. Happiness, however, is something that I have always struggled to put a melody to, case in point.
I’ve made it no secret that Amos the Transparent was the band that was never supposed to be. I’ve written numerous times that the band began as a studio project between Chris Wilson and I. There was no agenda, there were no goals we set to achieve and there wasn’t even enough song for a full record.
The first ever full band gig that we had used the moniker “Amos the Transparent” for was a New Music Monday gig at Zaphods in late 05. Chris Wilson and I enlisted the help of Jake Von Wurden to play bass, Steve Bragg and Blair Hogan to play guitar and I sang and played guitar as well, I hope I’m not forgetting anyone. Just to be clear, I’m head over heels about the current (and final) line up but holy shit - what a roster that was!
The setlist was a handful of demos that I had recorded at home using Fruity Loops and Cool Edit Pro. The show was fun, we had some laughs and that was supposed to be that. Until Chris had convinced me otherwise of course, although I imagine it didn’t take much coaxing. Chris wanted to take the home recordings and record them in a real format and release them in some capacity. So, we enlisted the help of our good friend Jason Fee who has always been, for 17 some years, the hidden (and sometimes uncredited) extra member behind every record I've ever made, or acted as a mentor on those he wasn’t present for.
We started making the record in 2006 at Sound of One Hand Studios in Ottawa. We had agreed to start with 3 songs so we could get a flavor for what we might be crafting and from there, we’d feel it out. We started with She Wasn’t Lying, All You Bellydancers! and Hard Times, Simply Come By and by the time we had three demos finished we were chatting with Dan Furlan and his Pop Culture Records to release a record. I remember thinking so casually of the recordings that I had questioned why he was even interested in putting them out. Ha! I still attribute the fact that we are still an active band 10 years later to the work and dedication Dan put towards this record.
The list of friends that gathered to contribute to the record is ridiculous; Jason Fee, Chris Wilson, Mark Hyne, Ana Miura, Steve Bragg, Conor Wild, Amy Millan, Evan Cranley, Cameron McLellan, Tyson Hiseler, Jake Von Wurden, Al Bragg, Kelsey McNulty, Wayne Hawthorne, Joe Brownrigg, Steve Hawley, Jason Chandler, Byron Edwards, Jen Flynn, Rachel Ferguson, Josh Valente - Thank you all so much, again, for your time and performances.
The scary thing for me is the naivety I had while making and releasing this record, and for the most part, those to follow as well. I still don’t understand “the biz” as much as I probably should but have certainly witnessed many circumstances that if you aren’t one of the few making the big decisions, you’re not allowed to make any at all. That is, of course, pending on which game you want to play and how much you want to play it. This ever growing sense of self doubt is one reason that I have called countless meetings over the years to end the band. Although Dan must have his rebuttal down to muscle memory by now, the meetings never ended the way I planned them to and for that, now more than ever, I am extremely grateful. That’s the irony I referring to earlier.
The music business, or how i like to refer to ours - the “almost" music business is a scary one. The mark of success can range from the simplest of tasks to what seem to be unattainable heights. Keeping a grasp on things and calling a victory a victory is a hard thing to do - which is exactly where I landed while reminiscing about this record.
The feelings I gather while thinking about all we have accomplished in the passed 10 years are amazing. We have had so many great people in our corner (and still do) and although no one ever came to take us by the hand and put us on the road with (enter amazingly famous arena sized band name), we have accomplished things that I would have never dreamed about 10 years ago. And all that stands on a group of friends making what we hope is good music. I am beyond blessed to share the stage with the group that I do; Chris, Dan, James, Olenka and Mike, in all seriousness, I love you guys (and girl).
Although much of this could have been read like a eulogy, as I write this Amos is preparing to start recording our 4th full length and I’m ecstatic. Again, The Business of Almost can be deceiving and as much as I have spent thoughts and energy on the ‘what could have been’, I have to repeatedly remind myself of what has been. I must attest that Amos’ triumphs are a huge factor in that how I now indeed wake up every day, go to my studio and make music with others. Another factor in that being my amazing wife who has seen me through many more years and escapades that I’ve noted here and continues to support me on a daily basis, or so she has me believe.
If you’re still reading to this point, if you’re one of the people who still speak highly of the record, or if you’re one the many folks who have stopped me to thank me for making the record; thank you. Thank you for being a part of this record and this journey.
Now, here is the iTunes link and we’ll be playing a show soon.
XO,
Jonathan
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